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As they approached the heart of the factory, the man thought: “If this doesn’t do it nothing will!” He showed his son a machine and said: “Son, this machine is the very the heart of the factory. We put in a pig and outcomes sausages.” Still unimpressed his son merely replied: “Yes, but do you have a machine where you feed in sausages and produce a pig.” The furious father thought and said, “Yes son, we call it your mother.”A young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team sneaks his new girlfriend, a gorgeous American gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village. Once she’s inside, he quickly switches out all the lights, they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement. After about twenty minutes of wild sex they both collapse back on the bed in exhaustion. The girl looks admiringly across at the swimmer in the dim light, his beautifully-developed muscles, tanned skin glistening with little beads of sweat as he lays beside her. At this point the swimmer. I have always felt more comfortable in a black tank top and split jeans. I could never have seen myself in a gown with earrings; the thought of it was foreign. My father had asked every woman that he knew before he finally came to ask me, that night, while we were sitting at the dinner table."Cara?" he paused. "Yeah, dad?" I looked up at him from my plate of homemade lasagne. "You know I've got that thing coming up, and mum usually comes with me..." Yeah..." I stared at him. "Well I know it's not your 'scene' but would you like to come with me as my plus one, honey? You'd be a lifesaver," he asked, knowing I would say no. "Sure! But I get to pick what I'm wearing and you pay for it, okay?" I told him firmly. "I will let you choose but I will have the final choice and no drama!" A flash of seriousness crossed his face that I had not seen in many years. I rolled my eyes and nodded in agreement. We chatted as we finished the rest of dinner discussing different things from what I should.
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